Thursday, January 29, 2009

C.S. Lewis on Moral Law

Scriptures say the lord wrote his moral law in our minds and in our hearts, thus we all know the moral law at least somewhat.


Freud says that children learn the morals through punishments and rewards


This makes me think of a bouncy ball bouncing back and forth between rewards and punishments, in this way the bouncy balls are kept in the limited bounds designed for them bouncing back and forth between the walls..  


But what happens... In the case of children,when they realise these limits are really artificial walls created by their parents?


In the analogy of the bouncy ball they are guaranteed to bounce way off in left field and run a muck.  Enjoying the freedom without bounds and lacking foundational knowledge about why it is good to choose to stay inside the limits.


The daunting task with raising children is no less then the Lords charge, teach them sound principals and let them govern themselves. Parenting this way takes allot more effort and thought, in order to do this a parent must awaken in the child a personal  awareness of their own inner conscious, of the moral code written in their minds.   The skill that such a task requires is daunting indeed.


Thankfully parenting is a three way contract between the Mom the Dad and the Lord. Thankfully the Lord gives us parents personal inspiration on how to fulfil such a large stewardship


In this analogy it is easy to see that we are Gods in training. 


Jeanine

Screwtape Letter 9 - More on Undulation, by C.S. Lewis

But there is an even better way of exploiting the trough;  I mean through the patients own thoughts about it.  As always, the first step is to keep knowledge out of his mind.  Do not let him suspect the law of undulation.  Let him assume that the first ardours of his conversion might have been expected to law, and ought to have lasted, for ever, and this his present dryness is an equally permanent condition.  Having once got this misconception well fixed in his head, you may then proceed in various ways. It all depends on weather your man is of the desponding type who can be tempted to despair, or the wishful-thinking type who can be assured that all is well.

Coments on Screwtape Letter #8 Undulation

This is like the classic pride cycle you learn about in the Book of Mormon and high school Seminary.


The Nephits humble themselves and are favored of the Lord, then they become prosperous and blessed.  Soon they become prideful, and sinful and need to be humbled by the lord... cycle repeats.


But more personal then that, this quote was the nugget of truth I was searching for.


I feel like truth brings happiness. When we humans suffer it is most often because we do not know, or are not living, some nugget of truth.


Thus when I feel I am suffering from some version of lack of truth, I start praying, pondering, and searching for the nugget of truth I am lacking.


This letter was that nugget of truth for Me.


Somewhere in the scriptures it says something like God gives men weaknesses to humble us.  and that if we do humble ourselves and turn to the lord he will make our weaknesses become strong.


As I said in an earlier post titled ''Frozen ''my weakness is cleaning.


Recently I have fallen into a rut where I asked myself, why do I bother trying to over come this weakness it does not seam to be improving at all.


You know I did not quote enough from C.S. Lewis there was allot more golden truth then what was quoted earlier... let me go find it.


In Screwtape #9 (see my next post for quotes from this letter) we learn how Screwtape exploits the trough periods by keeping the "patient" focused on the pattern of troughs, So the "patient" believes that the low periods are the constant and the highs are only temporary changes from the constant low.


This trick has worked well on me with cleaning, thus I have greatly lacked in faith of improvement, each low period has been thought of as the standard.


With this cycle going I can see how, when the Lord moves back withdrawing his support, from me I feel desperate. OH NO here comes the standard reality of failure" I think.  'All faith is lost and I stumble.


Funny how this is such a simple concept for me to understand in other areas of my life, but with cleaning I just did not get it.


The trick, it would seams is to hold any claimed ground as much as possible when the Savior withdraws his support.


It is like changing the pattern from a roller coaster ride of up and down to a pattern of steps.  During the good times capitalize on them and enjoy the improvements.During the troughs hold your claimed ground, ready to claim more ground during the next good cycle. This trick of holding the ground, doing what is right especially when it is hard.  This changes the roller coaster pattern into one of continuous improvement.


I am going to try this theory out anyways, see if it Works...


Jeanine

25 Random Things About Me Tag

 Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. 

1. I have a pet turkey. Yes she is a pet, and she loves to be petted. she was suppose to be thanksgiving dinner but "she is too sweet to butcher" Jeff's words.
2. I have a 14 lbs bucket of banana chips.
3. I picked up a rattlesnake in high school because I was showing off.
4. I am learning (Playing with) how to make soap.
5. Wow this is going to be hard I am already out of ideas... I was named after my mothers middle name.
6. My life long dream is to design and build my own sustainable home (somewhat like an earthship) on .5 acres of land or more.
7. because of # 6 I have at different time's tried to talk Jeff into living in a yurt, a shipping container a trailer... Just to name a few, not mentioning my super adobe, pressed block, dry stacked block, straw bale waddle and daub, pepper Croat and any other sustainable architecture form fascinations.
8. Jeff and I eloped and our kids don't even know. It just has not come up,
9. Our steak president challenged us to read the scriptures every day for the rest of our lives. Jeff and Angelic are determined to do this so over three months have gone by and we are still on track.
10. If I had all the time and money in the world I would go back to school to be an architect.
11. I have only traveled out of the country once to Tijuana
12. My ultimate comfort food is home made whole wheat pumpkin chocolate chip muffins.
13. Tumbelina asked Santa Clause to bring me muffin mix for Christmas.
...Over halfway Done
14. Jeff is working two jobs and I went back to work to get out of debt, by running like a Giselle, Dave Ramsey style.
15. Our Vans transmission is starting to slip so we are planning to buy a new one after we drive it into the ground.
16. I plan to make a pond this spring for my ducks.
17. I had appendicitis and chicken pox at the same time, as a little girl,l and almost died because the doctors could not see what was wrong, because a chickenpox was covering my appendix.
18. My favorite holiday is Easter.
19. My favorite food is potato salad that I eat at Easter.
20. When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut
21. My favorite Author is C.S. Lewis and I am reading as much as I can by him.
22. Only 4 more left. I make "Mamas Yougrt'' which is a mix of plain yogurt bananas and stevia (for sweetener) blended fruit and chocolate, our little health shack we enjoy.
23. Jeff and I get along so well, that we have been told, we are more like brother and sister, then husband and wife.
24. I have an ancestor that was a mail order bride,
25. My favorite prophet is Joseph smith, I love reading books about him. I admire him and want to be like him in many ways.

I tag   
  Lori 
  Marion 
  Myranda
  Justin 
  Tamra 
  Shawnette 
  Maren 
  Lisa 
  Evelyn 
  Brigitte 
  Chris
  Brian 
  Giagia
  Tammy 
  Daniel 
  Stacey 
  Lizzy 
  Tricialyn 
  Penny
  Jeanette 
  Wendi 
  Alan 
  Trudy
  Jessica
  Christine 
  Erica 

C.S. Lewis Quotes

The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud Debate God, Love, Sex, and The Meaning of Life,  By Dr. Armand M. Nicholi Jr.

Freud asserts that as children become adults, their sense of right and wrong comes simply from what they have been taught by their parents, that "their parents' prohibitions and demands persist within them as a moral conscience."  Eventually they introduce this whole system of rewards and punishments "unaltered into their religion."

Lewis agrees that we learn the moral law, in part, form our parents and teachers, and that this helps develop our conscience.  But this does not mean that the moral law is simply "a human invention."  Lewis explains that our parents and teachers did not make up this law any more then they made up the multiplication tables which they also teach us.  He points out that some of what our parents and teachers teach us "are mere conventions which might have been different -- we learn to keep to the left of the road, but it might just have been the rule to keep to the right -- and others of them, like mathematics, are real truths."  Mores or customs change with time; morals and moral law hold firm.
The Screwtape Letters, By C.S. Lewis; Letter #8

Has no one ever told you about the law of Undulation?
Humans are amphibians -- half spirit and half animal...  As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.  This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change.  Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation -- the repeated return to a level form which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks... 
And that is where the troughs come in.  You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree  He chooses and at any moment.... the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them, will not serve.  He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning.  He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation.  But He never allows this state of affairs to last long.  Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives.  He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs-- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish.  It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be.  Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please him best...  He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice.  He wants them to learn to walk and must there fore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.  Do not be deceived, Wormwood, Our cause is never more in danger then when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Frozen Dessert

My son Curious George asked Santa to bring him a snow cone maker. Our family has really enjoyed this simple machine. We got the Hamilton Beach Snowman Ice Shaver, because it had the best reviews for the price.  I have not been disappointed

Freeze juice for healthy yummy frozen treats

On Sunday we are having what Papa calls root bear sinks.  Freeze milk to shave and pour cold root bear soda over that.

It will also shave frozen bananas and fruit.

Frozen yogurt works well also, almost, but not quite, like ice cream.

Jeanine

Journaling - The magic head sorter.

I am writing down so many of my thoughts now. When I am upset, I write it down.  When I am trying to sort things out, I write them down. When I feel good, I write it down.  In this way my journal has become my magic head sorter.

Jeanine

Monday, January 19, 2009

Do's and Don'ts of Chickens

  • Don't get the small feeders. Not worth the hassle.  *COMMENT: When raising chicks the small feeders that have little holes for the chicks heads are a bad idea, including the mason jar ones.  They will fill up at the bottom with grit and look to you like the chicks have food.  But the chicks will still be starving because they don't want the remaining grit.  Get one where they can scratch out the feed, this will allow them to get to the fresh feed and not just concentrate the grit.
  • Do get the extra large feeder it is worth the money, for the time and hassle it saves you.


  • Don't get the small non heated water bottles, you will just replace it anyways in the winter.
  • Do get the water jug that plugs in so the water does not freeze in the winter. *COMMENT: Now I prefer the larger waters that fill from the top, so much less hassle, and they are built more durable, they are less prone to break.  The bottom fill ones can dry in the sun and the break when turned upside-down to refill.  Instead you can buy a water heater to put under the waterers.


  • Don't buy heat lamps the always-on-light messes up the chicken daily cycle.
  • Do buy an Iguana tank warmer (at the pet store), no bothersome light, no hassle with bulb changes, only slightly warm, will not start a fire, heat rises, better use of energy. (I used mine all winter with hay beds on top, the birds loved it, and nothing even close to a fire started).


  • A Dog house does not work for a chicken house over the winter.
  • Do get Tekfoil to insulate your chicken tractor or winter home, it works great.
  • A Dog run works great for a chicken area.


  • Do buy your chickens presexed at IFA or a local feed store. Roosters crowing and butchering is no fun, and allot more work. (Your neighbors will hate the crowing!)  *COMMENT: If you find a local classified listing for poultry it is fun to watch it and see the unique birds listed there. I have gotten to where I like docile breeds of  roosters and want the more unique birds.  Here we look at KSL.com classifieds.  Maybe Craigslist in your area would also work.
  • Do free range your chickens*. This works great, I highly recommend it, They will happily run around your yard eating weeds, bugs and fertalising everything. With the added bonus of less mess to clean up in chicken house. Most likely your chickens will pick their favorite place to lay eggs, and lay most of them in the same spot. The rest of the eggs are fun for your kids to hunt. *COMMENT: This works great for a few chickens.  The more chickens I get the more I want to tractor them so the eggs are easier to find.
  • Do block chickens from concrete slab or other places you don't want their poo. It is not fun to clean up afterwards.
  • Do buy lay mash* anything else produces less eggs (16% when warm, 20% when cold).  *CORRECTION: I have found I prefer lay pellets.  The Lay mash has grit mixed in it. My chickens have access to the out doors so they do not need grit mixed in with their food.  And I don't want to pay for grit because I have it all over my yard.
  • Do plan on feeding a large number of wild birds, the chickens will get board of defending their food. Wild birds are smarter then chickens, any food the chickens can find so can the wild birds.
  • Do buy wild bird seed if it is cheaper and put it a distance from your lay mash, in hopes it deters the wild birds from eating the lay mash.
  • *ADDITION:  Consider investing in a wild bird proof feeder, or netting your chickens in so the birds can not get into the food.  The cost of chicken food can add up when you are feeding it to wild birds.  Once th birds know you are a source of food you will end up feeding the whole county's wild bird population. 
  • Don't wash any chicken dishes etc. inside* for salmanilla concerns.  *CORRECTION: If you need to wash them inside in the winter do it in the bathtub and wash out the tub well.
  • Do feed your chickens your plant and grain table scraps, they will come running for them in anticipation.
  • Do Compost. Pick an area of the yard to compost in. Throw all your table scraps out there for the chickens to peck through. Add to your compost leaves and grass clippings, spread grass out thin to dry in the sun so it does not stink and clump.
  • Do involve your kids, farm animals are so much fun
  • Do learn how to butcher, you will need to know this even if you don't plan to do it much.
  • Don't get ducks unless you have a pond*. They require allot more water for cleaning, eating and drinking. *CORRECTION: I tried to make a duck pond.  I spent over $500 and it failed miserably! The ducks ate all of the pond plants and mucked up the water with their poop.  Duck ponds only work if you have a HUGE pond and enough money to pay to have them professionally installed.  Instead use a wading pool, but dump the pool every 3 days, then leave it out in the sun to dry out for a day, in order to not breed mosquitoes.
  • Don't get a turkey to raise for thanksgiving if you are soft hearted, it will become a pet. My turkey lays more eggs then my chickens*. She lies down in the grass and quivers her feathers to let us know she wants to be pet. Everyone loves petting our pet turkey. *CORRECTION:  As soon as she became broody she stopped laying eggs unless she could hide them and try to brood them.
  • *ADDITION: Don't get a Broad Breasted Turkey if you want to breed.  The toms are too big to breed, and the females have a hard time brooding correctly.  Get a heritage breed turkey.
  • Do get a female turkey if you have kids, they are more docile and friendly. A male turkey* will take over your yard and run your kids out of it. My rooster is bad enough for that, the kids need sticks to go back there, a male turkey would be allot worse.  *CORRECTION:  If you get a docile breed of turkey and a docile breed of Rooster and treat them well, you will have no problems.  I love my Buff Orpington Rooster, and my Black Spanish Tom Turkey.
* This was written in the winter of my first year owning chickens.  The CORRECTIONS, ADDITIONS and COMMENTS were add om after three years of owning poultry.  

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My thoughts on stumbeling blocks

There are two ways to go through life....

A. Taking life as it comes.  This is a time of wading through, climbing over, walking around allot of stumbling blocks.

B. Building a mountain one stone at a time to climb higher out of the stumbling blocks and closer to the Lord.

This is my theory anyways.

The choice seems to be to take the stumbling blocks around you and stack them up so you can climb higher, build your mountain, to climb, up towards the Lord.  But watch out the pile of stumbling blocks is ever rising trying to over take you.

Both paths are hard.  The stumbling blocks are hard because of the constant fight for survival.  The mountain is hard because of the effort required to build and climb it.  Both are incredibly hard.  But up on the mountain you can see further and your work and efforts are more effective.

Climbing up the mountain is a process of putting yourself in situations that are constantly new.  So mistakes are a given.  Climbing is a process of hit and miss and picking your self back up when you fall.  The trick is to pick yourself back up and climb some more, make more mistakes, and keep going.  Otherwise you choose to be surrounded by the stumbling blocks of maintaining status quoe.  

There is no comfort zone in life.  The Lord demands/wants perfection.

You can either be pushed up and wade through the treacherous sea of stumbling blocks, constantly struggling to stay on the top of them, and not fall down where they would bury you.  Or you can stack the stumbling blocks up and climb to higher ground out of the rising tide.  Either way you are moving upwards closer to the Lords planned perfection for you.  

It seems the building and climbing option is faster, and more desirable, because when climbing high you can see farther.

Jeanine

The truth is my hobbies are shopping and blogging!

That says enough... Maybe I should find a way to redirect some of that energy!  Shopping hobby makes me a good horder, but I am not sure it makes me well prepared or self reliant!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

CONSISTENCY... That's Why!

"CONSISTENCY REQUIRES YOU TO BE AS IGNORANT
TODAY AS YOU WERE A YEAR AGO."

OMGoodness!  I just ran into this quote on Crazy Land.

All these years I have been striving for Consistency... lol!!!

So what is next...??  After your consistency bubble is burst what is next to strive for??

Lol...

Jeanine

Monday, January 12, 2009

Chicken composting

We keep our chickens in our dog run, so technically it is a chicken Run. Lol... 

We are composting in the chicken run.  Whenever w have extra food or leftovers that are not meat we "feed" it to our chickens, by placing it in our chicken run to compost.  So there is allot of organic verioty composting in there.  We also throw in the grass clippings.  We spread them out in their so they will dry out and compost well.  Because grass gets slimy and stinky if it is left in a pile.  We also throw in leaves to compost.  

This soil was quite rich at the start of winter, so it became quite muddy in there.  We scattered hay over it and can now walk in there much better.  We also are using straw and hay as bedding for the chickens.  

I expect all of this to be a lovely mess of compost we can use in our planter beds come spring.


Stressed Chickens

About two months ago our neighbors dog had a fun time chasing the rooster and hens all around the back yard.  He was just a little pup and thought it all was a load of fun.  He got a mouthful of the roosters tail feathers a few times. Right after this our hens stopped laying any eggs.  

This was also when the weather turned cold.  I have heard stress can cause a hen to stop laying eggs.  So either the cold or the dog stressed them and they stopped laying eggs.

We are having a warm spell right now and allot of the snow is thawing.  My hens started laying eggs again.  This is most likely because it has warmed up.  But could also be because they have gotten over the stress of the dog attack.

Chicken Ladder, Ducks, and Hay

We got hay for the chickens and ducks for their bedding because they might enjoy the food Value there. But Were sceptical it would make any difference. It did the chickens and ducks are peaking at it and trying to eat it.

Our ducks wont use the chicken ladder we made, in order to get into their shelter.  So I made a ramp out of straw, and they do use that. Only problem is the straw tends to get knocked down, and  then the ducks can not get up the ramp. 

Silly flightless birds.  My chickens will fly and perch on top of my 6ft fence, and my ducks wont even hop.  Go figure.

FEC - Family Executive Committee Meeting

Jeff and I discussed kids as we were falling asleep.

Tumbelina- Avoide nagging her. This does not inspire her to do better

* This worked. When Hugs and Tumbelina were having a fight. I sat them down together and had one girl listen while the other girl talked, when girl A was done talking girl B had to repeat back to girl A what she said accurately enough that A agreed it was what she said. Then girl B got her turn to talk and girl A had to listen and accurately repeat back to girl B what she said.

Then each girl was challenged to think of one thing she could have done better. They then said sorry to the other girl for the one thing they did wrong.

This worked well for Tumbelina. Ari had a harder time with it.

Curious - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."I am trying this bit of wisdom out on Curious.

After church today Curious took an empty pop bottle and started to play whack a mole on his sisters heads with it. I had Curious repeat this phrase several times and then asked him if he would like it if his sisters whacked him on the head with a sprite bottle. He said no of course, so I asked him if he thought his sisters liked being whacked. ''No ''he said. 

"Then should you whack it your sisters on the head?" was my next question.

 He said "no."

''Can you tell your sisters sorry then" I asked.

"Yes" he said.

This seemed to get through.

Angelic -I am working with Angelic on personal hygiene in preparation of her body maturing. Last night she showered and washed her hair. After words I got out the mouse and tought her how to scrunch and tease it into her hair. The results were better but it seems that we need to find a way to improve the results even still.

Hugs -I need to fix her iron deficiency. I need to get more white pills from Daves Nutrition, and help her get more iron. This should help her moods stableize allot more.

Me-take your herbs to marrow.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Webkinz Birthday Party ideas #2



1. Pup cakes- Instead of Birthday cake, make cup cakes. Decorate each one with a paw print.  (Icing idea. Place Frosting in a zippy bag and cut off one corner. Use this to decorate the cup cakes.)

2. Mini Pup Cakes- Make mini cup cakes for your Webkinz animals.

3. Treasure hunt-buy prizes or treasures. Hide each prize in a "rock." Crumple up newspapper around each prize so it looks like a rock.  Hide "rare" prizes in a different colored paper and tell guests they can only get one "rare" rock.  Hide rocks or scatter rocks over the lawn for guests to race for.

4. Pin the W on your favorite Webkinz.

5. Tiger dogs-A unique food inspired by the food chef Gazpacho cooks. Cook hot dogs on the grill so they are striped like tigers.  Have the chef wear a name tage that says Chef Gazpacho.

8.Prize ideas- Littlest Pet shop animals, or other small animals. Webkinz cards or card packs.  Print out Webkinz bookmark image below.

7. Have invites say "bring your favorite stuffed animal."

8. Stuffed Animal Game- Have guests sit in a circle with their stuffed animal in their lap.  Get the group repeating this pattern, Clap Clap snap Snap. Take turns going arround the circle saying your animals sound on the "snap snap'!

Now play a game of Memory. One person starts the game
by saying their own animals sound during the clap clap, then saying another players sound durring the snap snap.  The new person then says their sound durring the clap clap and another players sound durring the snap snap.  Repeat.

To make the game more advanced- each time a player messes up the players move to a new stuffed animal (stuffed animals stay in place). Players move one left if a boy messes up and two to the right if a girl messes up.

9. Duck Duck Goose is a great party game for younger kids.

10. Craft Idea-Make bow ties for the stuffed animals to dress up in. Hair bow for girl animals, a neck bow for boy animals.  

(Make bow ties out of felt. cut a rectangle shape in felt gather it in the middle with thread sew on an elastic loop that stretches over the animals heads or around their necks.  Guests can decorate felt bows with glitter glue pens, fabrick markers or other items.)

11. Fill out My Favorite Things paper about you and your stuffed animal.

















Wednesday, January 7, 2009

One of Each

The new years goal I am working on is getting at least the most important thing in each area of life done each day.  Then filling my time with other littler rocks afterwards.  These are.

Dishes
Laundry
Exercise
Scripture reading
Journaling
Devotional
Dinner

Monday, January 5, 2009

Our Family Digest

I made another new blog.... yes another...

This one is for My Families History, where I write about our history and events and life.

I will then keep Jeanine Blog for writing my own persional thoughts.   Jeanine blog will be a little less publically known, so I can feel like I can open up a bit more on it.  But of course it still will be published.  I really like using the internet to organise and record my life.  Google Calender, Remember the milk.. etc.

Jeanien

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Frozen

The truth is I am frozen somewhere between a midlife crisis and ... tried four times, and I could not put down and what.  

Part of me says, after 3 miscarriages in a row, a house fire, two moves... you are just exhausted.

Part of me says, get over that, the fire was back in march 2007.

Maybe it is a matter of health, I stopped taking my meds for herbs, and now have stopped taking my herbs for... ?

Yes health is a factor for sure.

November 22nd 1996, I married my best friend, and jumped into married life with grand plans of homemaking.  Twelve years later, homemaking on of my top occupations, and still I fail just as bad at it as I did 12 years ago.

Motherhood - ok I can do that, I like that, it has it moments, but I see successes in that area.

Homeschooling - good there also, joy and happiness are there, along with the moments.

Working at home - going well, a bit of a learning curve, but on a good trend.

Wife - Hum... Wow... I could do allot more there.

Homemaking - complete and utter fail.

Homemaking has been my #1 new years resolution since I was first married.  12 years later... utter fail.  Little to no noticeable improvement, truly.

After the fire I finally could complete my plan.  I had all that extra money I could spend on just the right organisers and stuff.  I had my home done up pretty, decorated, and organised.

Then... I don't know what...

Was it miscarriage #3 that did me in?

My home was already starting to unravel before that, but I do believe I was still trying.

After miscarriage #3 all trying stopped.  My attitude is why bother.

Could it be the adjustment of working at home....?

Yes... things did get worse then.

Could it be the discomfort of having my sister live her....? Yes

But what of those can I solve...

Health - My #1 enemy is my difficulty remembering things.  If I take medication I forget to take it everyday and my dosage gets totally out of whack.  If I take herbs they are more gentile  and can weather the occasional forgetting, but eventually I am forgetting everyday anyways, or actively avoiding then through some strange sense for failure..... I think I need to schedule an appointment with Dave at Dave's Nutrition and discuss the memory problems.

Work - Wait until Jan 18th and you get the better schedule that will help allot.

Those are what I can change....

Then after that, how is anything I do in homemaking going to be anything different then all my attempts before that failed.  I have read so many books, and tried so many new approaches.  I am almost out of any new ideas.

I had a thought the other day about how I homeschool successfully.  I homeschool through confidence in my own inspiration from the Lord.  It is just that simple.  I view raising my children as a three way contract between me and the Lord.  I have total confidence he will provide me with the answers and resources I need to homeschool.  Could I use this same method with homemaking??  I am sure I could, difference is this method came naturally to me with homeschooling, and with homemaking it will require faith.  And I have very little to no faith in my homemaking.  Maybe that is why it always fails, lack of faith.

Herbs and faith, those are the best answers I can come up with at this time.

Jeanine