Wednesday, December 5, 2007

About what we do for our Daily Routine: every day is a unique day.

My day...

Wake up (must start there :)

Morning Devotional... Which includes.

1.Opening prayer
2.Reading in The Children's Friend (LDS Church magazine intended for children, wonderful way to teach values with new interesting stories, the kiddos love it)
3.Reading a part of proverbs (This is where DH asked me to start, lots of great one liners, if you can filter through all the other stuff.)
4.Working on our memorization poem. We are memorizing poems form this book right now. http://www.ldfr.com/catalog/detail/poems/1
5.Writing down or drawing (depending on age) at least one thing they are thankful for.
6.Writing down/ drawing one thing they like about the spotlight family member of the day.
7.Writing down/ drawing one thing they can share that day.
8.Working on the primary song we are learning, and singing and reviewing all the other primary songs we have learned, as long as is enjoyable.
9.Reviewing the daily calendar.
10.Reviewing the chore pay stubs.
11.All of the above, or mix and match the options as we feel the need.

2nd Breakfast (like the hobbits in Lord of the Rings. We call it 2nd breakfast because most likely the kids woke up before me and already ate first. :) My newest goal is to wake up before them and do one batch of dishes and laundry. But that has not been our standard.

1 hour cleaning time. Everyone MUST work for one hour, and you get paid for the jobs you get done. The faster you work the more you get paid.

1 hour personal improvement - I.E. Shower, Get dressed, Read a book, write in your journal. Etc. Works allot like cleaning time. We are paying for activity in this category at this time, but are open to the idea of revising this in the future.

If no other homeschool groups activities or family/friend activities are scheduled for the day then we have time for circle time.

1.Learn the interesting factoid of the day.. normally done by themes. I.E. flash cards with large pictures of interesting items on the front and interesting facts on the back, every one picks one or two cards to read for the day.
2.Learn the themes song or poem (themes like birds, insects, states etc.).
3. Memorization flash cards flipped through in a Glen Doman fast way. memorizing things like home phone number, math problems, and reading/spelling words.
4.Interactive play like games, floor numbers line, Drum talk, rhythm band play, Clock games, any learning games.
5.Question of the day. Where we write down questions about the world that the kids wonder about and pick one for Eva to help me research the answer during study.
6.Math Manipulative play, done at the kitchen table, lots of little pieces, and maybe work book sheets to match. Play as long as child is interested.
7.Any other fun learning idea we may have pop up and enjoy.
8.All of the above, or mix and match the options as we feel the need.

We eat lunch about now, maybe earlier, depending...

If everyone is still in a good mood, and scheduled events are not pressing on our time then we start into our traditional schooling.

Study time. This is where we follow an actual educational program...

1.Reading in McGuffey's Readers, one on one with mother. Or other reading series depending on child's interest level. We also have a reading program I wrote, or Bob books, or the God is Good series, or Dick and Jane or actually 3-4 other reading/ learning series that we rotate through to keep up the interest level.
2.Working on McGuffey's Eclectic spellers. Doing Active/repetitious spelling activities. It has been shown that repetitious movement while learning to spell can help with the brain retention and with the child's attention span. Anyone seen Akeelah and the Bee, remember how she learned to spell jump roping? I have funny balance boards, twist boards, bouncing balls, we move on. Or we pass a ball around and spell as we pass. Things like this.
3.Working on Ray's Arithmetic verbal math problems.
4.Working on various worksheets or work books of the child's selection. I have a nice selection I buy and each child gets to choose the workbook and the worksheet they want to do. They cover the three R's and other interesting subjects like geography.
5.Copying a poem we are memorizing as beautiful as possible for presentation. Or writing in Journals or writing a letter or card for a family member or writing a shopping list etc.
6.Working on creative writing of stories. Poems, etc.
7.Doing the research for the circle time question.
8.All of the above, or mix and match the options as we feel the need.

Free time for the kiddos and me... Kiddos can play with friends if the toy room is clean. Kiddos can watch a movie if it is dark outside and their bedroom is clean. Maybe I clean some more. Maybe I work on a project. Maybe I get some Internet time. Depending.

Dinner time with Papa

Family Classic reading time – Papa reads out loud from the classic of choice. Right now we are reading mostly from the BOM but we have read so many wonderful books like the entire Narnia series and the entire Little House on The Prairie series.

Family Prayer

Get ready for bed.

Bedtime Story – If the kiddos are having a hard time sleeping then I will read them a story out of the classic I am reading to them. Right now I am reading The Life of Our Lord by Charles Dickens. http://www.amazon.com/Life-Our-Lord-Written-Children/dp/0684865378

Or Eva will read to them from the book of her choice. Right now her favorite is “Three short stories you can read to your cat.” I am not sure it helps them go to sleep at all because they are all rolling laughing throughout it. But I love it because it helps Eva get good reading practice.

Or the kids will read the books of their selection, under their bed light, to themselves.

Hopefully the kiddos will sleep :)

I then get my precious much anticipated personal study time and Internet time, uninterrupted, hopefully if they are asleep. If I do not schedule this time in then I find that when it is time to sleep I can not sleep (like now) and I end up spending my sleep time studying.

I realized that in “Schooling all the time” fashion (maybe unschooling) my family has over a dozen learning patterns that we pop in and out of throughout the day depending

WOW! I can log in now!

Goodness that switching to Google accounts confused me.... And I forgot my Google account name.. But now I can log in again :)
Jeanine

Monday, July 16, 2007

How the West Really Lost God by Mary Eberstadt


Review No. 143
June & July 2007
Table of Contents

FEATURES:
How the West Really Lost God

By Mary Eberstadt

A new look at secularization.

http://www.hoover.org/publications/policyreview/7827212.html

Consider as subsidiary evidence this tantalizing fact: Differences in fertility rates within the United States itself also track broadly with differences in religiosity. The Northeast pattern closely resembles that in Western Europe, whereas the South and border states are correspondingly higher. And the rate is also high among the well-educated and well-off population of Latter-Day Saints.

Something about having larger families is making people more religious, at least some of the time.26


not only that religious people are inclined toward the family, but also that something about the family inclines people toward religiosity.

First, there is the phenomenological fact of what birth itself does to many fathers and just about every mother. That moment — for some now, even that first glimpse on a sonogram — is routinely experienced by a great many people as an event transcendental as no other. This hardly means that pregnancy and birth ipso facto convert participants into zealots. But the sequence of events culminating in birth is nearly universally interpreted as a moment of communion with something larger than oneself, larger even than oneself and the infant. It is an elemental bond that is cross-cultural as perhaps no other — a formulation to which most parents on the planet would quickly agree.

Thus does a complementary religious anthropology begin to emerge, grounded on the primal fact that the mother-child and father-child bond, as no other, appears to push at least some people toward an intensity of purpose they might never otherwise have experienced. And it’s not as if birth is the only familial experience that has this transcendental effect. So do other common family events that defy ordinary, atomized human pleasure-seeking, including, say, the selfless care of an ailing family member, the financial sacrifices made for those whose adulthood one may never live to see, even the incredible human feat of staying married for a very long time. Further, in binding those alive to relatives both past and yet to come, family is literally death-defying — another feature that might make it easier for those living in families to make related transcendental leaps of the religious variety. Third, families and especially children also transform people in other ways — and not just by clipping adult wings, turning the former midnight rover into a man in slippers watching O’Reilly at 8 pm, but also in what may be the deepest way of all. All men and women fear death; but only mothers and fathers, and perhaps some husbands and wives, can generally be counted upon to fear another’s death more than their own. Just as there are no atheists in a foxhole, so too would there appear to be few in the nursery or critical care unit, at least most of the time.

Perhaps women who are mothers tend to be more religious because the act of participating in creation, i.e., birth, is more immediate than that of men. Perhaps that fact inclines women to be more humble about their own powers and more open to the possibility of something greater than themselves — in brief, more religiously attuned. Or perhaps for both mothers and nonmothers there is something about caring for the smallest and most vulnerable beings, which is still overwhelmingly women’s work — after all, even power mommies employ women to do it — that makes it easier to believe in (or hear, depending on one’s personal belief) a God who stands in a similar all-caring relationship to relatively helpless mortals of every age. Maybe the general sex differences in religiosity have something to do with explanations like these.

But the majority of people... learn religion in communities, beginning with the community of the family.

Trying to believe without a community of believers is like trying to work out a language for oneself

For there is nothing fixed or inevitable about today’s low birth rates or (bearing in mind that fertility is just one of several measures for the vitality of the family) low marriage rates or, for that matter, notions about the desirability of the natural family itself — in Europe or anywhere else. All these measures of family vitality have fluctuated throughout history, sometimes radically so. Both the low birth rate and the waning of marriage among Roman patricians, for example, were of sufficient concern under the emperor Augustus as to result in the imposition of the family-friendly “Julian laws” (incidentally, pronounced a failure by Tacitus a hundred years later). During the modern Depression, to take a very different example of flux, the birth rate in the United States was roughly two children per woman; only a historical blink later, in the years of the Baby Boom, it was four. Moreover, even the nations of Western Europe – now home to some of the lowest birth rates on earth — all experienced a baby boom recently enough to be within the living memory of those who are in late middle-age today.

There is also another less tangible but nonetheless real reason why one can imagine a turnaround both in marriage rates and family size.34 The world has not experienced these historically low rates of natural family formation for long — or their attendant problems. Single motherhood, for example, though cheered by feminists a generation ago in the name of “liberation,” is now widely seen for what it really is: an inhumanly difficult task for almost any woman to execute, let alone the poorer and more vulnerable women among whom it has become common. Similarly — though it is politically charged to say so at a time when gay marriage, polygamous marriage, surrogate births and other novel family arrangements are being championed — a generation of social science has established that children do best when they grow up with married, biological parents in the home and that children who do not enjoy that advantage are at higher risk for a large number of problems.35 It is interesting that both marriage rates and childbearing among relatively affluent educated American women now seem to be on the uptick for reasons that have set sociologists quarreling. Maybe learning from the recent past, in particular from the problems that have arisen from other kinds of family structures, is one reason for that change.

And of course one of the largest of these parental considerations — access to education — is also susceptible to political change. In the United States, where most urban public schools are seen as substandard and undesirable, parents in such areas often make decisions about family size based on what it costs to send children to school elsewhere. Any number of factors — restoration of public education, meaningful tuition tax credits, innovations in home-schooling networks — could affect that calculation in another direction.

People of the future may well appreciate better than many of us today the particular human joy not only in one’s own offspring, but in their offspring too.

There is plenty of reason for pessimism about what the future holds for religious belief if by “pessimism” one means further decline. Divorce and illegitimacy — to say nothing of maternal surrogacy, polygamy, polyandry, multiple parenthood, and related political experiments involving children that defy the empirical evidence about what’s best for them — all these and other forces are battering the natural family. The more we modern people experiment with it, retooling it to suit our material desires, our political agendas, our busy lives, the more we would appear to risk losing what it is that makes many people religiously inclined in the first place. Nevertheless, in the religious anthropology proposed here — and contrary to that of secularization theory — there is nothing inevitable about the decline of the natural family and thus, by implication, religion too.
To argue by analogy, it appears that the natural family as a whole has been the human symphony through which God has historically been heard by many people — not the prophets, not the philosophers, but a great many of the rest. That is why the conventional story of secularization seems to be missing something: because it makes its cases by and to atomized individuals without reference to the totality of family and children through which many people derive their deepest opinions and impressions of life — including religious opinions and impressions.36

Tags:

Awakening To Our Awful Situation, Warnings From the Nephite Prophets By Jack Monnett

This is the beginning of my discussion of this book I am reading. I resisted buying this book, when I saw it on the shelf I thought "another end times a coming book." But as I was purchasing my dried fruit from my favorite whole foods store Kitchen Kneads, the owner went to the shelf got this book and highly recommended it to me. Thus on his recommendation I purchased the book. Also I appreciate Joel Skousens books and he wrote the foreword in the book. In the back of the book it summarizes this..

In the preceding pages we have learned that:

1. Constitutional safeguards have been broached by government under the guise of expediency and preserving freedom.

2. Engineered emotional fervor has been used to propel America into foreign wars.

3. Wars have been intentionally used to siphon the wealth of nations and to consolidate it into establishment control.

4. In most instances, the content of media and formal education is controlled.

5. Sovereignty and the right to determine national standards and ideals among individual nations is being relinquished to the United Nations.

6.Although vociferous denial to the contrary, evidence demonstrates that government individuals and agencies have fostered the drug trade in the United States and positioned other countries to comply with illicit drug demand.

7. The motives and methods of today's power usurpers parallel those of the Gadiaton Robbers of Book of Mormon times.

I do not expect this to be your grandmothers "conspiracy book" I am expecting some actual factual information and insights into today political situation.

Here are some interesting links I found, I am posting them her for me to look over in more detail later.

http://www.deepdoctrine.com/old/index.html
http://www.lifeschoolk12.org/shop/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=215&osCsid=17a8c967849cd552bfbedfedf276da54
http://www.literature.org/authors/doyle-arthur-conan/poison-belt/chapter-06.html
Jeanine
“A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise.” ~ Aldo Leopold

Thursday, July 12, 2007

"Common Sense" by Thomas Paine

A post I wrote in my Modern Mothers Group

Kerry and I have decided that we would like to study something together. We decided that we wanted to study "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine. We found an online subscription where we can receive this in parts in our email three times a week. We would love it if anyone else in here wanted to read it with us. Here is the link.

http://www.dailylit.com/books/common-sense

"A long habit of not thinking a thing WRONG, gives it a superficial appearance of being RIGHT, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason."

I loved this statement. Our society is truly like this. Many things that are "standard" for society are assumed to be correct or right. Kerry's favorite statement right now has been "question everything". I think that there are many things in our lives that need to be questioned. Kerry was telling me that she wanted to teach her children to be self thinkers, so that they can see through standard lies. After discussing this we decided that one of the best ways to raise a self thinker is to read classics. Thus we are starting by reading Common Sense.

"Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness POSITIVELY by uniting our affections, the latter NEGATIVELY by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first a patron, the last a punisher."

Thomas Pain explains that humans naturally like to live together in community. "In this state of natural liberty, society will be their first thought. A thousand motives will excite them thereto, the strength of one man is so unequal to his wants, and his mind so unfitted for perpetual solitude, that he is soon obliged to seek assistance and relief of another, who in his turn requires the same." I believe this is true. We humans crave community and interaction with other humans. Thus, we now have online communities like this one to bring like minded people together.

For a little while community can prosper without laws. But eventually "they will begin to relax in their duty and attachment to each other; and this remissness will point out the necessity of establishing some form of government to supply the defect of moral virtue." Thus laws are a necessary check and balance to keep society for regressing.

I enjoyed reading this such common sense, and hope some of you will join us in reading and discussing this.

Tell me what you think.

Jeanine
“A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise.” ~ Aldo Leopold

Follow the discussion here.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Modern_Mothers/message/993
and here
http://www.dailylit.com/forums/book/290

"Common Sense" by Thomas Paine

A post I wrote in my Modern Mothers Group

Kerry and I have decided that we would like to study something together. We decided that we wanted to study "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine. We found an online subscription where we can receive this in parts in our email three times a week. We would love it if anyone else in here wanted to read it with us. Here is the link.

http://www.dailylit.com/books/common-sense

"A long habit of not thinking a thing WRONG, gives it a superficial appearance of being RIGHT, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason."

I loved this statement. Our society is truly like this. Many things that are "standard" for society are assumed to be correct or right. Kerry's favorite statement right now has been "question everything". I think that there are many things in our lives that need to be questioned. Kerry was telling me that she wanted to teach her children to be self thinkers, so that they can see through standard lies. After discussing this we decided that one of the best ways to raise a self thinker is to read classics. Thus we are starting by reading Common Sense.

"Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness POSITIVELY by uniting our affections, the latter NEGATIVELY by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first a patron, the last a punisher."

Thomas Pain explains that humans naturally like to live together in community. "In this state of natural liberty, society will be their first thought. A thousand motives will excite them thereto, the strength of one man is so unequal to his wants, and his mind so unfitted for perpetual solitude, that he is soon obliged to seek assistance and relief of another, who in his turn requires the same." I believe this is true. We humans crave community and interaction with other humans. Thus, we now have online communities like this one to bring like minded people together.

For a little while community can prosper without laws. But eventually "they will begin to relax in their duty and attachment to each other; and this remissness will point out the necessity of establishing some form of government to supply the defect of moral virtue." Thus laws are a necessary check and balance to keep society for regressing.

I enjoyed reading this such common sense, and hope some of you will join us in reading and discussing this.

Tell me what you think.

Jeanine
“A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise.” ~ Aldo Leopold

Follow the discussion here.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Modern_Mothers/message/993
and here
http://www.dailylit.com/forums/book/290

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Let children be children

San Francisco Chronicle
Let children be children
Is your 5-year-old stressed out because so much is expected?

Penelope H. Bevan

Sunday, June 3, 2007

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2007/06/03/INGE5Q5QCO1.DTL

I was watching one of my second-grade girls try unsuccessfully to tie her shoes the other day, and I thought, "This is a person who is supposed to be learning plural possessives?" I think not.

We've just finished test time again in the schools of California. The mad frenzy of testing infects everyone from second grade through high school. Because of the rigors and threats of No Child Left Behind, schools are desperate to increase their scores. As the requirements become more stringent, we have completely lost sight of the children taking these tests.

For 30 years as a teacher of primary kids, I have operated on the Any Fool Can See principle. And any fool can see that the spread between what is developmentally appropriate for 7- and 8-year-old children and what is demanded of them on these tests is widening. A lot of what used to be in the first-grade curriculum is now taught in kindergarten. Is your 5-year-old stressed out? Perhaps this is why.

Primary-grade children have only the most tenuous grasp on how the world works. Having been alive only seven or eight years, they have not figured out that in California there is a definite wet and dry season. They live in high expectation that it will snow in the Bay Area in the winter. They reasonably conclude, based on their limited experience with words, that a thesaurus must be a dinosaur. When asked to name some of the planets after he heard the word Earth, one of my boys confidently replied, "Mars, Saturn, Mercury, Jupiter and Canada!" to which a girl replied, "No, no, no, you gotta go way far outer than that."

Research has shown that it takes approximately 24 repetitions of a new concept to imprint on a young brain. The aforementioned plural possessives come up twice in the curriculum, yet they are supposed to know it when they see it. This is folly.

Currently, 2 1/2 uninterrupted hours are supposed to be devoted to language arts and reading every morning. I ask you, what adult could sustain an interest in one subject for that long? Yet the two reading series adopted by the state for elementary education require that much time be devoted to reading in the expectation that the scores will shoot up eventually. Show me a 7-year-old who has that kind of concentration. Show me a 64-year-old teacher who has it. Not I.

The result of this has been a decline in math scores at our school, because the emphasis is on getting them to read and there isn't enough time to fit in a proper curriculum. Early math education should rely heavily on messing about with concrete materials of measurements, mass, volume and length, and discovering basic principles through play.

There is no time for this. The teaching of art is all but a subversive activity. Teachers whisper, "I taught art today!" as if they would be reported to the Reading Police for stealing time from the reading curriculum, which is what they did.

It is also First Communion time in second grade. Yes, I teach in a public school, but First Communion happens in second grade, and it is a big deal, the subject of much discussion in the classroom. The children are excited.

A few months back one of my girls exclaimed, "Jeez, I have a lot to do after school today, Teacher. I gotta do my homework, go to baseball practice and get baptized." I laughed to myself at the priorities of this little to-do list, so symbolic of the life of one second-grader. But there was a much larger issue here. What is happening to their souls? You may ask, what business it is of the schools what is happening to the souls of these little children?

I will tell you. Any fool can see that those setting the standards for testing of primary-grade children haven't been around any actual children in a long time. The difference between what one can reasonably expect an 8-year-old to know and what is merely a party trick grows exponentially on these state tests.

Meanwhile, children who know they are bright and can read well are proved wrong time and again because of the structure of these tests. Teachers spend inordinate amounts of time trying to teach the children to be careful of the quirky tricks of the tests when they should be simply teaching how to get on in the world.

Twenty years ago, I had a conference with a parent, a Sikh, whose child was brilliant. I was prepared to show him all her academic work, but he brushed it aside and said, "Yes, yes, I know she is quite smart, but I want to know how her soul is developing."

The present emphasis on testing and test scores is sucking the soul out of the primary school experience for both teachers and children. So much time is spent on testing and measuring reading speed that the children are losing the joy that comes but once in their lifetime, the happy messiness of paint, clay, Tinkertoys and jumping rope, the quiet discovery of a shiny new book of interest to them, the wonders of a magnifying glass. The teachers around them, under constant pressure to raise those test scores, radiate urgency and pressure. Their smiles are grim. They are not enjoying their jobs.

Our children need parents and teachers who, like Hamlet, know a hawk from a hand saw, who know foolishness when they see it and are strong enough to defend these small souls from the onslaught of escalating developmentally inappropriate claptrap. The great unspoken secret of primary school is that a lot of what is going on is arrant nonsense, and it's getting worse. Any fool can see.

Contact us at insight@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page E - 2 of the San Francisco Chronicle

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Art #2 Utah Homeschool Convention Review

Using Art to Reinforce Core Subjects by Sharon Jeffus

Sharon gave us online resources for learning art. his web page of course www.visualmanna.com. Other resources www.scribus.net, www.inkscape.org, www.gimp.org. he said that more resources can be found here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_source

I loved this list from Sharon

Characteristics of the Creatively Gifted
from The National Foundation for Gifted and Creative Children.

1. High Sensitivity
2. Excessive amounts of energy
3. Bores easily and may appear to have a short attention span
4. Requires emotionally stable and secure adults around him/her
5. Will resist authority if not democratically oriented
6. Have preferred ways of learning; particularly in reading and math
7. May become easily frustrated because of his/her big ideas and not having the resources or people to assist him/her in carrying these tasks to fruition.
8. Learns from an exploratory level and resists rote memory and just being a listener.
9. Cannot sit still unless absorbed in something of his/her own interest
10. If they experience failure early, may give up and develop permanent learning blocks.

Sharon had allot of fun ideas on how to make lessons multisensory by including art. I think that this idea is wonderful and will enjoy doing more of this.

He recommended these resources.

The way they learn - Cynthia Tobias

The book, Kinetic House-Tree-Person Drawings - by Robert C. Burns
(this book is expensive. I wonder if there is another newer book with the same information) These other selections seem to be good substitutes
Art Therapy Source book by Cathy Malchiod
Self-Growth in Families: Kinetic Family Drawings by Robert C. Burns
Robert Burns: Selections by Robert Burns (Edited By Weston, John C.)
Kinetic family drawings (K-F-D);: An introduction to understanding children through kinetic drawings, by Robert C Burns

Michaels - you can go to these stores and ask them for their mat scraps to use for fun art projects

Google Earth - is a great place to go and tour the world from your computer.

Self Government #1 Utah Homeschool Convention Review

Teaching Self-Government by Nicholeen Peck

This was a wonderful class and gave allot of information on raising a self governed child. I liked the ideas of using SODAS (Situation, options, disadvantages, advantages, solution) to practice and review every day life events and improve child actions in these situations. By helping the children discuss the situation, the options the child can choose, and the advantages and disadvantages in the situation, then letting the child choose a solution. I want to use brain storm situations in which I would like to help my child consider their actions through SODAS.

Being board and waiting (in church, at the doctors office, etc.)
When we wake up (early morning work)
I am annoyed with my sisters and I want some alone time
I am sad and I want some extra attention from my parents
Mom and Dad are leaving me at the babysitter
I need help and am having trouble getting someone to help me.
I am jealous of my sister and feel like she is getting something better then I am.
I am hungry
I want to get my mothers attention but she is talking to someone

The Four Basic Skills- Nicholeen talked through 4 basic family relationship skills and the step by step instructions on how to act in situations that help children learn appropriate behavior. We feel these skills are skills of self control.

Following Instructions
Accepting Constructive Criticism or Accepting No for an answer
Accepting Consequence's
Disagreeing Appropriately

I liked the method of detailing out appropriate behavior like this. I think there are more skills then these four and would like to consider them.

Asking for help
Asking for something you want
Waiting for help or other things
Saying Thank you
Resolving emotions that feel overwhelming

To help our children become Self Motivated Learners Jeff would like to cover these topics.

Finding which direction or area of interest to pursue
taking initiative
discerning right and wrong in choosing a direction

I also think we need to cover
Learning methods and resources to find information

Nicholeen covered the ever popular LDS and Thomas Jefferson Ed idea of Family Council Meetings. In her hand outs was a meeting sheet that outlined the basic elements of a family council. I really like the ideas she gave on family council and believe that they will be great to implement in our home.

In Dr. Mel Levine's Feelings and Motivation guide he stressed the importance of creating a safe environment in the home or classroom where the child can make mistakes but their self confidence is not broken. Helping avoid humiliation and feelings of failure help the child feel more confident. Nicholeen also covered this. She feels that the home should be the safest place for a person to make a mistake. Our children have a short time where they can learn and make mistakes in total safety and we should create that safe environment while we can. Remembering not to judge or label your children. Always assume the best in your children, rather then assuming the worst. Making instant judgement calls and giving instant consequences does not teach our children life skills. I have always loved these ideals, but I am glad for the review in order to help me refocus on this.

Teaching Styles
1. Praise - Praise your children 6-10 times for every 1 time you correct them.
2. Preteaching - Teach your children ahead of time what they need to know in order to behave the way you want. I.E. tell them what you want them to behave like before you go to an event. or teach them good behavior patterns. Practice good behaviors in mock situations.
3. Corrective Teaching - This is when you tell the child what they have done wrong. This should be done with a spirit of understanding.
A. Reaffirm to them that they are loved or good
B. Explain the problem like "just now you made a mess" without any titles.
C. Show empathy or praise them for things they have done right before.
D. Explain the consequences of the child's actions.
E. Explain the benefits of cousing right in their terms.
F. Practice doing it the right way.


When a child is out of instructional control (I.E. Throwing a tantrum)

1. Preteach - I am going to give you an instruction because right now you seem like you are out of instructional control. If you choose to not follow my instruction I will give you consequence x. If that happens then I will give you a second instruction. If you choose to not follow that instruction then I will give you consequence x and y. If that happens then I will give you a third instruction. If you choose not to follow that instruction I will give you consequences x,y and z.

2. Give them the instruction - Like "close your mouth and stop talking". If the child does not respond then wait a few mins and give them the second instruction. Do this three times.

3. Show you child the rewards of being in instructional control. If the child is still out of instructional control leave the child and their bad behavior. Take the rest of the family into another room. Have fun with the rest of the family, read books, eat ice-cream, spend special time together. Check back with the misbehaving child every 10 mins or so and ask them if they are ready to follow instructions. If they are start over with the preteach. If not wait and come back again in 10 min.
4. Enforce all consequences earned. Write down every consequence the child has earned. It may be allot but the child has chosen each of those consequences. When the child finely comes out of it, even if days later, enforce all the consequences the child has earned to the letter (if you do not then you loose credibility). If enforcing the consequences causes the child to go out of instructional control again start back up at the top at the preteach.

Tips - Nicholeen says that eventually the children learn to dislike the phrase "out of instructional control" and the consequences that come with it and will many times quickly correct their behavior so as not to go through it.

Other tips from Nicholeen.

Don't ask why your children are misbehaving. They will only tell you what they think you want to hear. And you will not like what they say anyways. Pointless.

Make time for family activities at least once a week. Scheduling the time out makes it an extra special event. Anticipation makes more special. Placing an high importance level on this helps others schedule their lives around it. This is essential because it helps create feelings of unity and togetherness. This is an opportunity for the family to show each other love. A Child should NEVER be excluded from the family activity for bad behavior. All behavior problems are left behind during the family activity. This way you communicate to the child that you love them more then you care that they obey, that the love is the most important. But consequences should return to normal after the family activity.

We should choose what we want our homes atmosphere to feel like. We should set goals for what we want our home to feel like in 20 years, and set goals for getting closer to that in the short term.

Seek to understand then to be understood.

If you make your children do what you want, you will loose them. If you let them choose what they want, you will keep them.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Interesting LDS Church History Fact

"The Zohar, book of Kabbalah, predicted that in 1840 the wellsprings of information will open up…" - Rabbi Simon Jacobson
Work on the first LDS temple in Nauvoo began in the autumn of 1840.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Concerned about Curious George

Curious has been having progressively worse and worst trouble breathing while sleeping at night. I have been trying to get appointments to help with this issue. Last week we saw Dr. Tagge's assistant a great ENT and he scheduled surgery for Curious to have his Tonsils and Adenoids removed, and tubes put in his ears. This appointment is not until June 25th. I was glad to have the appointment but felt anxious that it was not soon enough.

So I called my family doctor Potter and asked his staff if they could send me with an Oxygen tester or oxmitery test I took it home last night and taped its sensor to his little finger. Curious was mad at something when I did so his heart rate showed it. But in a surprisingly short amount of time it dropped to 40. This is a fact I forgot to tell the doctor today, Curious had greatly fluctuating heart rates even when awake. I then proceeded to not sleep as I watched his oxygen and heart levels. His oxygen looked much better then I expected, it was ranging between 95 and 80, which is not good but better then I expected. But his heart rate was distressing to me. It went from 140 ish to as low as 22 when I was looking, and many times this change in rate was in a matter of seconds. I went online and found that his heart rate for his age should range between 60-150. So he was not maxing out at the top, but goodness, he was dropping so low. Can a person go any lower and still be alive? I wondered to myself.

Then today we went to go and see Dr. Potter. After looking over the results he wrote a cover letter to both Curious's ENT and his Cardiologist and faxed it with the oximirty test results. Also Potter advised me to call both doctors and see if telling them the results would encourage them to set quicker appointments for him. The results of the oximitery were lowest oxygen level 79, and lowest heart rate 20 (goodness, if that don't cause worry I do not know what does.) I left a voicemail for Tagge's head nurse, and got ahold of someone who emailed Dr Williams. I am going to call again first thing in the morning.

While worrying about the test results I asked Dr. Potter what should I do between now and when the other specialists can see Curious. He said not to let him sleep alone. And was glad to hear that Curious sleeps with me. But he also said that it was not bad enough that Curious need to go to the hospital.

Later I reconsidered his opinion. I know that when Kerry takes her little baby into the Emergency room for troubles breathing they will not let her leave the hospital unless her little girls oxygen level is 90 or higher. Many times Issy in the low 80's has been put on oxygen. So inother words if I took Curious into the hospital while he was asleep they would not let him leave.

Later in the day I picked up Granny from the Airport and she noticed that Curious has labored breathing even while sitting in his car seat awake.

Dr. Williams the cardiologist told us that it was most likely that Curious's heart murmur would close on its own by the time he was two. But Curious's pediatrician and our family doctor both tell us that it is not closed yet. So under normal circumstances we would go and see Dr. Williams when Curious turned two.

But if Curious's heart started to have troubles supporting his body as it got bigger we might notice him having troubles with eating, and breathing. Thus his difficulty breathing while asleep, and apparently normally, is a sign of his heart not being able to support his body since it has grown.

Which I think means that Curious is in for heart surgery. Already Curious is in for his ENT surgery. And he needs dental surgery. Ideally they try to avoid surgery before a child is two. How many surgeries can a little tiny boy take?? Each and every one of these surgeries would involve general anesthesia. I hate the idea of general anesthesia. HATE IT. Now how am I suppose to feel about the need for it three times, and with a breathing and heart problem?

It is going to be a long night tonight as I watch Curious's every breath. Jeff is on oxygen at night for his difficulties breathing, he is already working on a setting the oxygen up for Curious instead. And Jeff plans to call Dr. Potter tomorrow and insist on putting Curious on oxygen at night. Also Jeff wants me to request that at any or all surgeries that there be a specialist there just to watch Curious's oxygen and heart rate.

Jeff and our neighbor Jeff just gave Curious a blessing. It did give me peace. Curious was blessed with health and strength. He was blessed that he would respond well to treatment. His doctors were blessed that they would be inspired by the Lord and know how to help him. And he was blessed that he will be healthy and strong. Also he was blessed that he would grow with strength in the Lord and will follow his teachings.

Jeanine

Monday, June 4, 2007

Post for my Lerning Sign Language Yahoo Group

This group has been inactive for a long time. We do not always talk on here. But because you are new and excited I would love to give you pointers :). And I would love to hear from others on the list if they want to talk about sign language a bit.
My favorite signing time resources for kidos are these.
http://www.signingtime.com/
Their shows are played here locally on our TV's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6so_imiGJ0M
that is a sample of what the videos are like. On that Utube it shows Rachel doing some of the signs on the DVD Leah's Farm. But it does not show you any of the cute songs on the DVD's. All of the DVD's are FULL of great songs.
If you are just starting out I would HIGHLY recommend the Baby Signing Time DVD's, my boy cant get enough of them.
http://www.signingtimekids.org/
fun stuff you can do online with your kido's to learn sign.
I found some great sign language stuff on youtube the other day. Here is one.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=SmartHandsCA
Online Sign language dictionaries are wonderful. Look up the sign you want in an instant.
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/SITES/ASLWEB/browser.htm
This is my all time favorite.
Hope you like that info
Jeanine

http://appealing.multiply.com/

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Shopping at Ikea!

I am sure no one is surprised to hear that I have already been to Ikea twice!!!

And I am thinking I really missed out on the boat, what was I thinking? I TOTALLY should have went to work at IKEA part time in the evening so that I could get their %30 off employee discount.

Ok so Yes Ikea is busy. But if you go on a weekday during the day it is not at all insane. They have parking helpers that usher you right to your spot to park in. Also the whole store is built for large amounts of traffic. So while there were allot of people you could still walk through the place well. I am sure the weekend will be insane. But going on a weekday during the day was not bad.

The store is HUGE, no not big, GIGANTIC.

Day 1, Thursday (day 2 of the grand opening): I went with the whole load of kiddo's. We went to the kids play place. This is how it works. Your child must be out of diapers, taller then a mark on the wall, and shorter then another mark on the wall. My little 4yo Ari almost was not tall enough to go in. Next you grab a bin with a number and have all of the kiddo's take off of their shoes and put them in a bin. Then you fill out an information sheet, you know, name address ages. Then they give you a PAGER, how great is that, a pager. (Later in the day I saw a daddy going back to pick up his little girl because she was crying and they paged him.) Then they look at the clock and write it on your sheet. Your kids can play for one hour, but in one hour you need to pick them up. The pager has a number that matches the shoe bin. Your number is written on a name tag for your child. The your children are let into a "control" area where they only seem to let one set of kids in at a time, while they make sure everything is in place. Next the kids are shown to the play area with bathrooms, a climbing wall, "a swimming pool full of balls instead of water" (this is how my kids described it), a movie loft with bean bags, a pet shop, twirly trees with a hide away inside of one of them, a rocking reindeer, a bouncy turtle, and bear chairs (last three are Ikea items of course, selling to the kiddos ;).

Next Sterling and I took the elevator up to the second floor. We looked around and were still not done with all of the top floor in a hour. We were almost to the kids room shopping area by then. Just past the kids shopping area is restroom and the food court and an elevator to go down and get your kids. We went down to get the kids and they all said "Pretty please mom can we come back again and again, allot of times." And of course my answer was "if you are good this shopping trip :)".

The kids and I then went back upstairs to see the kids shopping area. It is totally touchy feely. They expect the kids to climb on the beds and play with the toys. By the toys is a "try it" area where some of the toys are set up out of the package for the kiddos to play with. In between the different kid room displays are little mouse holes. The kids go into a room and climb on and play with everything until they get bored and climb through the mouse hole to the next room. Your main job is to keep up with them :). One display room had a tea party set up on a table and all the kids sat down and had a little tea party, until they got bored and jumped through another mouse hole.

My plan was to explore this area until we were done and then go use the restroom and eat. After eating I was going to consider taking the kiddo's back down for a second turn in the play place (if they let me). But just about this time little Sterling (who was way past his nap time) decided that he was sick of moving on past all these cool stuff. And the big Giant stuffed turtle cushion was too cool to want to leave EVER. Sterling started screaming when I took him off of it and he did not stop until we got into the van. Se la vie.

Total time in the store about 1 hour and a half, and we only saw about 1/3 of the store.

Day two, friday (day three of the grand opening): The girls are off to Granny's, and I only have Sterling. Sterling is well rested and happy. This time I start out exploring the store backwards. The day before while I was hurrying out of the store with a screaming baby I saw the "scratch and dent" section just before the registers on the east end of the store. I decide to start here. It is full already, and I found two good deals, a toy with some missing parts, and a little kid stool.

After the As Is section I start to realise that going backwards might not be the best idea. Every step I take into the store I am going to have to retrace on my way out. I was worried because I did not have a huge yellow bag for my strange cart, but luckily I found one easily when I did get past the warehouse area to the showroom. The down stairs is full of all of the little things, dishes, lights, blankets, etc. I found lots of great kitchen gadgets that I have been missing, filled up my bag, and did not pay allot by the time I left.

Everything is different in person then on the web page. Half of the things are bigger then they look on the internet (like the GIANT sun lights for the girls room), and half of the things are smaller then they look on the internet (like the cute silver light for the kitchen.) Some things are better built then I expected (like the trofast towers) and others are not built as well as I had hoped (like the knodd garbage cans). I am going to have to totally re plan everything. :(

Friday BTW is allot busier then thursday was, almost too busy.

I was hoping that the store had more selection and items then the web page, but for the most part this is not so. I think I found a few items I do not remember seeing on the web page, but they are the exception. Also I expected to see everything on the web page in the store, and this was also not so. There were some pictures I liked on the web page that I could not find in the store.

On the way out we got to taste test some sparkling juice, found some Swedish orange cookies to buy to snack on, bought the crazy large IKEA blue bag instead of the plastic bags, used self check out, and were happy with our experience.

Total time in the store about 1 hour and a half. Still we only saw 1/3 of the store, 2/3rds of the store down, one more 3rd to go.

P.S. If you have not already seen my ikea decorating plans check out my multiply page.
http://appealing.multiply.com/photos/album/8

Monday, May 14, 2007

Getting Sleep

Sunday - Going to sleep at 12:30..
This week my goal is to go to bed by 11:00 pm every night.
Here I will track how I am doing
Monday - Goodness I went to bed way to late. I thought that tracking it in here would motivate me to get to sleep good, but I forgot :(.
Tuesday - it is 11pm and I am not in bed yet :(.. I am up talking with christine about Sundays dinner. But I am heading to bed now and it is 11:20, almost on time.
Wednesday - 12:30
Thursday - 10:30 YEA!
Friday - 11:00 Yea!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Super Cute Mothers Day Card!

Look at this Cute Mothers Day Card that my girls sent me.
Jeanine

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Hypothyroidism

Hello! I have been seeing a GREAT doctor about my hypothyroid and he has been allot of help. I am amazed at how much thyroid problems effect ones health and life. I am so glad to have found a solution to my medical problems.

My first doctor said that I tested normal for hypothyroid (I was on the outside edge of normal with both tests) and even though I have all the symptoms of hypothyroid he would not treat it, and treated me like it was all in my head.

Then I found Dr potter on this web page (you can see him down listed under Sandy)
http://www.thyroid-info.com/topdrs/utah.htm . He explained that most doctors are timid to over treat hypothyroidism because there are some health risks involved. But that while it is risky to over treat it is actually EXTREMELY more of a health risk to have hypothyroidism go untreated. And with modern blood tests it is very unlikely a person would be over treated for hypothyroidism.

Here is my sisters Blog on thyroidism and it has some good information. Give it a read, we are convinced that WAY many more women have hypothyroidism then are tested for it and treated for it.
http://passeyfamily.multiply.com/tag/hypothyroidism

BTW the treatment for thyroid problems is a synthetic version of the hormone our bodies would make anyways. Synthyroid has helped me think better (I discovered that my thyroid problems were affecting my memory quite a bit), feel better emotionally, get tasks and jobs done better, sleep better, my arms and legs do not ache nearly as much. Basically all the symptoms of fibromyalgia, synthyroid seems to help.

Like my sister, I am GLAD to be diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Now all the different medical problems I have had in my life that are related to a low thyroid can be solved.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Freedom Fries: And Other Stupidity We'll Have to Explain to Our Grandchildren



http://www.netflix.com/WatchNowMovie?movieid=70057647&trkid=203073
Does consuming really support our troops? Should we buy and buy to support America? This fun documentary asks these questions. The producer would have us stop using gas, stop buying things made in china, and other things like that. He suggests that if we are not making a sacrifice then we are not making a difference.

So should we stop shopping like Rev Billy suggests?
http://www.revbilly.com/
His songs and sermons are cleaver.

I think I lean more towards the ideas of Dave Ramsey http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/. Get out of debt, dont over consume.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Learning Hebrew on the Internet for Mostly Free

1. Learn how complicated Hebrew is...
http://www.lookstein.org/online_journal.php?id=81

2. Learn about the alphabet
http://www.biblicalhebrew.com/alphabet.htm

3. Study the alphabet in detail by studying each letter one at a time in wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%99
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%94
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D7%95
Those are just the ones I had bookmarked but you can copy and paste any Hebrew character into a Wikipedia search to learn more about it.

4. Get a vocal recording of Hebrew so you can hear genuine pronunciation of the language. I choose the Hebrew psalms on cd.
http://www.hebrewworld.com/Psalmsongs1.html
Also here are some great resources for listening to pslams and hebrew online
http://www.shma-israel.org/music.php
http://www.shma-israel.org/narrations.php
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2601.htm

5. Study one psalm or part at a time. I choose to start with song #16 because it was the shortest.

6. Pick out the main words in the psalm.
עבדו את־יהוה בשמחה באו לפניו ברננה
http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2601.htm
psalms in English and Hebrew
http://www.hebrewsongs.com/psalm0index.htm
pronunciation of psalms in Hebrew written out.

7. Study the individual letters in the words and compare them to the way they are spoken to understand how each letter sounds when spoken. Get to know each letter so that you can read the word as it would be spoken. Remember the all forms of God are either not spelled correctly or pronounced correctly, so don't get hung up there.

8. Make Study flash cards like this one, inorder to help you study the words.
http://www.flashcardexchange.com/mycards/view/435437

Friday, February 9, 2007

How to Reduce the Stress of Homeschooling as a Christian

http://www.wikihow.com/Reduce-the-Stress-of-Homeschooling-as-a-Christian
How to Reduce the Stress of Homeschooling as a Christian

Homeschooling your children is really quite simple and pleasurable. But many women seem to miss out on its simplicity and pleasure because they are all wrapped up in stress and self doubt. This How-to may help some homeschoolers free themselves of stress and self doubt.

(The author would love for you to contribute your ideas on How to homeschool with more confidence and less stress, please add them to this article.)
Steps

1. Determine why you homeschool or teach at home. Write this down. Everytime you think of a new reason why you are homeschooling make a note of it. This will help you remember all the benefits of homeschooling through the frustrating times.
2. Review what you have taught in your homeschool over the last week, month or year. As you list what you have taught you will find that you understand allot more about your homeschool and how it functions. You will be reminded of what works well in your homeschool. What your kids are interested in. All the many success you have had in your homeschool. Almost nothing can make you feel as good as a list of good things you have taught in your homeschool. You will be glad you reviewed your success.
3. Download Task Master http://www.qsoftworld.com/taskmaster/ or use some other method to keep track of your to-do lists. Write down all the tasks you should do/want to get done. You may find that this alone relieves some guilt and stress. After you have those nagging tasks written down, walking past evidence of unfinished tasks is easier. Because now, you can say, "I have a plan for that task and I will get to it when it is the best time".
4. Establish a habit. Pick one thing you want to do (not what you think you should do; wants motivate much more than shoulds). Consistently do this one thing for one month. Don't overwhelm yourself, pick one small thing. Master one thing at a time. When your first habit is mastered pick a new habit. Keep a list of habits you have mastered "Where success is measured success improves."
5. Relieve external pressure. Strive not to take offense from your many relatives and family that express doubt and concern. Talk to them in their language, do not try to convince them of your philosophy if it is different. If you have more critical relations go out of your way to tell them the good things you are doing in your homeschool. This should be easier now that you have written down all the successes you have had in your homeschool. This is not bragging this is addressing their concerns in a positive way. Your brainstormed list of homeschool successes should assist you with this. Do not bring your critical relations into your confidence or they will feel they know more or are close enough to the situation to evaluate your homeschool and it success even more.
6. Keep your stress level in check. Good stress motivates you while bad stress demotivates you. Read more here http://www.jhu.edu/~hr1/fasap/stress/index.html and here http://www.jhu.edu/~hr1/fasap/stress/slide14.html
7. Take time for you. Now that you homeschool, you have less personal time. Plan in some kind of personal time, weekly is wonderful. Take a long relaxing bath. Send the kids to their friends house. Work out an exchange with another mother, where you take turns giving eachother a break. Plan a weekly or monthly visit for the kids to go to grandmas so you can have a break.
8. Network with other homeschooling families. Homeschooling is growing so fast that most major cities have many different homeschooling activities your family can participate in. find an activity your kids like and take a break chatting with other homeschooling mothers while your kids enjoy their activity.
9. Have confidence. The Lord has entrusted these children with you. They are your stewardship. Because he has called you to this work he has given you the divine gift of inspiration for your kids. If you turn to him he will guide and direct you in this important stewardship. The Lord's ways are not our ways. If coloring outside of the lines is what he wants you to do, then do it with confidence, be the salt of the earth.


Tips

* Keep your focus simple. You have time on your hands. Every month you will get better at homeschooling. Every year you will get better at homeschooling.
* Bring your spouse in line. Ask him to tell you what he would like to see happen in your homeschool. Listen openly to his ideas. Help him see how he has talents that will add to the homeschooling environment. If you have a husband who is critical of homeschooling it can be a burden that is difficult to bear. Help relieve this stress by asking him pick one thing for the families homeschool to work on.(I say families because that keeps him involved). Most likely he will describe a talent he has and would like the children to have. If this is the case plan a method to help the children gain this talent also. When put in this light your husband is essential to the process. If he wants you to improve in some way talk about it. Many times it helps to narrow down your husbands concerns to one item of importance. Strive to improve in this one area. This is a team effort, ask the whole family to work together to reach this new goal. Express to your husband that this is a process. It is best to start with one small thing and build on that then to try to be an instant homeschooling expert.


Warnings

* Your husband may want to make sweeping changes to your homeschool and call it one item. If you strive do fulfill his sweeping ideal you will end up frustrated. Sustainable growth happens slowly one habit at a time. Work on small obtainable goals that motivate you. The more you are excited about your goal the more successful you will be.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

How to Raise a Happy Baby Through on Demand Nursing

Fear often flashes through a new mothers eyes when her newborn starts to cry. What does the baby need? Why is he crying? What do I need to do to fix it? No one likes to listen to a baby cry, it causes everyone stress, especially the new mother. Calm your world down, pick up that crying baby and start nursing it, then read further for more stress relief.


Steps

1. First take a deep breath and relax.
2. Read this simple overview of what your newborn needs. From Erick Erickson's Eight Stages of Development we learn that the first and most important thing your infant learns is Basic Trust Versus Basic Mistrust. If you Infant learns to trust then they gain the ability to have hope. "Chronologically, this is the period of infancy through the first one or two years of life. The child, well - handled, nurtured, and loved, develops trust and security and a basic optimism. Badly handled, he becomes insecure and mistrustful." It is in this initial handling that you create in the babies mind a safe world where their needs are met, or a hostile world where there needs are not met. The more safe and cared for your baby feels the more your baby learns to trust the world, and the happier your baby will be.
3. Read more about your babies development. From Jean Piaget's Stage Theory we learn that in Substage One your baby learns through Basic Reflexes. Thus a Newborns world is like this. I am hungry I must suckle. But if the infant is not supplied with suckling at the moment that they feel a need the naive infant starts to panic. In my opinion what goes through the newborn infants mind is something like this. "I am hungry, and I am sucking but there is nothing here to satisfy my hunger. Thus I am in peril of starving to death."
4. Summed up in one sentence. When your baby cries nurse him. There it is, the solution to all your babies needs. Whenever your baby cries nurse her. But, you will say, scratching your head, this is too simple. Simple yes it is, but not too simple. Let me explain further.
5. Now that your baby is nursing you can visually watch the dear little thing relax. Do you see those muscles release their tension. Take inspiration from them, relax your muscles, release that tension. Now you can think clearly. It is most difficult to think about what you need to do when the baby is crying. Relax, take advantage of this moment of rest.
6. Look at that nursing baby. Look at how she trusts you, how she feels safe and comfortable. In one simple act of nursing you have taught your baby that the world is safe, that she is safe. You have taught the baby to trust, and you have given it the ability to hope. You have taught your baby, "when I am hungry I am fed." "When I cry I am comforted." "When I have needs I am cared for." "I am held warm and lovingly by my mother." Did you know there were so many wonderful lessons all wrapped up in nursing your little infant? Erick Erickson believed that these were the most important lessons for your baby to learn at first. If your baby did not learn these lessons first then the rest of his life would be disrupted and unsuccessful. These lessons must be learned first before any other lessons, everything builds on this. If a child does not learn to trust the world they will have to go back and learn trust before they can build on to it with any other positive lessons. Follow Ericksons advice nurse now to teach your child to trust, nurse now to raise a healthy adult.
7. But, you will say, there is more to raising a child then nursing, What about changing diapers, etc. Now that the baby is calm and you are calm run through the checklist in your head. Does the baby need a diaper change? Go ahead and check it while your baby nurses. Is the baby cold? Hot? Wet? Check the babies skin to see what temperature. This is easy to do now that you are holding the baby close to you. Take care of the needs you think the baby has. It is easier to do now that he and you are calm.
8. Look over your baby and see if it is physically giving you ques that might tell you it has other needs. If it is time for the babies nap most likely you just solved that problem and the baby is dozing off right now. If the baby wanted some attention you also just solved that, you are sitting down and doing nothing but caring for it. If you have a slightly older baby that wants attention most likely she will happily nurse until her muscles are relaxed, then she will stop nursing and turn to look at you and smile. That's a dead give away that she wants attention. (Hold the baby up infront of your face and talk to her. Babies are really simple little creatures, a little bit of face to face talking goes a long way.)
9. Give Quantity time not Quality time. There is a common myth among mothers that our children need Quality time, when actually they need Quantity time. What matters to young children is consistency. As your dear little one coos and tries to steal you away from your to-do's remember this... A little goes a long way. If you respond quickly to your little ones needs then you catch the problem when it is little, and your baby only requires a little bit of attention to fix it. If you do not respond quickly then your little one has gotten all worked up and it will take more time to calm them down. Your baby only needs a little bit from you right now. Try not to get overwhelmed and think about every thing your baby needs, think about the little bit he needs right now, and do it. Keep it simple. A toddler would much rather get a hug from his mother every time he comes to her for one, then sit and read a book for a long time. Infants and children have short attention spans. All they know is "right now I need attention." Supply for that attention quickly and they happily run off, or sit and coo, content with your quick recharge. If you teach a child "when I need attention I get it." They feel safe and secure in the knowledge. A child that feels they have to steal attention, to make their mother give them attention, is constantly in pursuit of that attention, and constantly in fear of not getting it.
10. Now that your baby is calm, his belly is full, his most pressing needs are taking care of (like diaper changes and needing mama time.) you have to get back to the rest of your world. While you are still sitting there calm and relaxed think of what you can do to best help this baby stay happy. Can you carry them in a sling while you work? Can you sit them in a bouncy chair where they can watch you flit about the house and clean it? Can you give them an interesting object to put in their mouth? Add something into your little child's field of experience that will help him sustain his current form of contentment longer. Once properly cared for and set up to something interesting you should have gained some time to get the rest of your world in order.

Tips

* This method will still work as your child gets older. When he falls down, nurse him. When he is sad because a toy broke nurse him. Etc. This method is so simple and takes much stress out of your life. When the baby starts to cry you don't have to start to stress about what you should do. Nurse the baby and when both you and he are clam you will get other ideas about how to help him further.
* Remember each time you quickly and efficiently help him stop crying and take care of his needs you teach him to trust the world, that it is safe. And you make him into a more confidant individual. You will find if you keep up with this that your baby cries allot less then other babies, that your baby calms down easier, that your baby is more safe and secure feeling. You may find to your surprise that you have a harder time parting with your baby then he has with you. He knows you will be there when he needs you so he is not worried.
* If you can not come right away when the baby cries start to communicate with it. Say things like. "I hear you, I am coming as soon as I can. But I must get the cake out of the oven before it burns. Wait just a min." You baby might not stop crying when you tell it what you are doing, and that you are on your way. But the baby will still learn from this pattern. Keep talking to the baby even if it is crying, even if it is crying loud enough it can not hear you. Keep telling it you will come as soon as you can. Young infants and children learn through repetition. Eventually your young baby will learn to wait patiently when it must. Singing this to your child can give the child added comfort. Repeatedly sing something like this. "I am coming ,coming coming, I am coming to help you." It is silly I know but it works. Just keep repeating, your baby will learn through repetition and patterns.
* For an older baby you can help him learn to wait for something through repetious singing also. Like when my 18 month old wants to join his older sisters outside and is crying because he can not open the door. I scoop him up in my arms and as I bundle him up to go out side I sing something like this "You are going outside after your coat is on, you are going out side after your shoes are on..." This repitious song can help them gain confidence that their needs will be met and teach them about processes.
* Eventually you will become like the baby whisperer and know what your baby needs. But even still there will always be times when you do not know what your baby needs or how to help them be happy, at these times start with nursing to make things more simple for you and your baby.
* When it is time for you to leave your child with someone else do not sneak out when your baby is not looking. If you do you will loose your childs trust. Even your young infant will learn to trust you through repition. I may be silly but when my child is old enough to notice me leaving him I pick them up and tell them. "Mama is leaving you for about 2 hours, Aunt Dee will be here to take care of you, and I will be back soon." If you consistently tell your child you are leaving and consistently tell them you are coming back, they will learn to trust you. If a child is afraid that you will sneak out on them at any time they will try harder to not let you get away with that trick. Tension will rise and it will get harder and harder to sneak out. Better to let the child cry at parting at first and gain trust. Then to break their trust and sneak out and have the child cry anyways when they realize that you snuck away.


Warnings

* If you are just switching to this on-demand-nursing method you will find that all transitions are difficult. Your baby will want to test the waters and make sure that you will pick him up and comfort him whenever he wants you to. You will find that at first your baby will need and ask for much much more attention. Like with every other thing in life your baby is testing the new limits. Have faith and know that once you teach your child "I will respond quickly to your needs." He will gain confidence in this fact and develop confidence in this fact, and need attention less, and be comforted more quickly.
* Every where you turn you can get advice on how to raise a baby, and most likely you do get it everywhere you turn weather or not you want it. Much of this advice will come at you in a black and white form. "You must do X inorder to be a good mother, if you don't do exactly X everything will fail." These doomsday ultimate predictions are never correct. You are a unique being, your baby is a unique being. What works for you and your infant is a unique solution that only you can find. No one can tell you what will work for you and your infant. They can only tell you what worked for them and their infant. Babies are resilient. Being a normal good mother, finding your own best way, making mistakes, and having imperfect moments is part of life. Please whatever you do do not cause yourself more emotional stress by being harsh on yourself if you do not follow my advice to the T, or anyone else's advice. The way it works for me will not be the exact same way it works for you. Take in the parts that improve your life and leave out the parts that stress you. You are custom making your own unique solution.
* If your baby is in a social mood she will quickly wrap you around her little finger and make you forget all your to-do's. Go with it, Your little darling is only this little for a short time.